Love Lost, Love Gained, Too Late
by SandXDemonX13
Summary: He hadn't realized how far his brother would go because he never noticed the others feelings. He didn't want to accept that he was gone; he didn't want to accept that he had failed--that he had lost the one he loved. Ita/Sasu, character death, one-shot.


Okay... I know by now you might be tired of all the one-shots... But the beginning of this, up until the first break, I wrote back like last year, I just finished it about a month ago or so. I think this is actually pretty good, I mean I really like it and I'm sure some of you will as well, at least I hope. And ages for the story, if you are wondering should be Itachi: 22, 23; Sasuke: 17, 18. Somewhere around there, whatever floats your boat; parents aren't around, just make something up for them cause I really don't care; in my mind Itachi and Sasuke just live together and all, but that's just me.

Rating: T

Pairing: Itachi/Sasuke, with a tiny touch of Itachi/Sasori.

Warnings: Uchihacest, which is incest of course, character death, and some angstyness but that's really it.

Disclaimer: I hate admitting this but I do not own Naruto.

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**Love Lost, Love Gained, Too Late**

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He lie on his bed, thinking, as usual. One hand behind his head, the other draped across his stomach, his right foot under his left knee so that his legs made the shape of a 4. But yet he couldn't stop thinking about _him_... But why couldn't he get _him_ out of his head? Well...of course he knew the reason...but still, he thought that if he had accepted it that he would just stop thinking about it...but of course life was unfair to him.

Suddenly a light tapping came on his door, making him jump slightly, but effectively clearing his mind. Yet, he didn't answer the person on the other side of the door, and after a moment said person realized that they weren't going to get an answer. He thought for just a moment that he was safe, just for a moment he thought that he wouldn't have to explain his strange behavior the past few months; that moment was soon ruined as the door opened letting the person on other side into the room.

He stared at the intruder, but said nothing as said intruder closed the door behind himself then leaned on it, looking at him, almost like he was studying him. He still said nothing, waiting for the man opposite him to speak first, he didn't want to say anything unless he had to. "Why, Sasuke, have you been acting like this?" It was the same question that was asked every few days, and every time that it had been asked the asker had never got his answer. Today, though, he was determined to get it.

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Itachi. Acting like what?" he, Sasuke, asked, acting innocent. It was, of course the same answer he always gave his elder brother when he was asked this question. Itachi sighed and pushed himself off from the door before walking over to Sasuke's bed and sitting down on it, still looking at his brother. Sasuke sat up, leaning against the headboard for support and looked down, trying to avoid looking anywhere near his brother.

"Sasuke, you know exactly what I mean. For the past three and a half months you have been avoiding me and when you are not avoiding me," Itachi paused in his sentence and Sasuke heard the blankets rustle on his bed. Before he knew it Itachi was sitting in front of him with one hand under his chin, forcing him to look at the elder. He tried to fight down his blush and succeeded mostly, only the faintest hint of pink could be found on his cheeks. Finally Itachi finished his sentence, "you are not looking at me when we speak. Did I do something, Sasuke?"

He wanted to avert his eyes, but he couldn't, so he just shook his head slowly. "O-of course you didn't do anything, Itachi." Itachi sighed again and dropped his hand from Sasuke's chin letting it fall in his own lap, but he didn't drop his gaze from his brother's. "Then why have you been like this? If it wasn't something that I did, then what was it; what is it? Sasuke, you can tell me...you know that, don't you?"

He barely nodded, he wasn't sure he could actually tell his brother something like this, he would never be looked at the same again...he would probably never be looked at again, and to never again be looked at by his brother, someone, who, all his life he looked up to and strived to be better than, would be horrible. "Then tell me. Tell me why you have been acting so strangely. You can trust me, Sasuke." Sasuke looked down and closed his eyes, he couldn't take it...he couldn't tell his brother everything, but he couldn't leave him out either.

"I-I... I've realized, Itachi, that...I'm not normal... I'm not...right...and I didn't want to bother you...with that," he said trying to figure his words out as he went. He could feel Itachi's gaze on him and it just made this harder, and he then realized...that he had started to cry. "What do you mean, Sasuke?" He brought his head up, refusing to open his eyes, but he felt the tears rolling down his cheeks. "I..."

For some reason he couldn't finish the sentence, he couldn't tell his brother the truth, one part of the truth it was, but still it was truth. He finally opened his eyes and saw his brother staring at him with concern and patience, and it only made it worse and through his lips broke a sob, and with that sob...came his truth. "I-I'm...gay..." It was the first time he had admitted it, to anyone, and now, he was only scared of what his brother would do—of what his brother would say, and if he would say anything at all.

That fear brought more tears forth, and in seeing how much this was putting his baby brother through, Itachi pulled Sasuke into a hug, which the latter returned gratefully. "It's okay, Sasuke," he whispered reassuringly into Sasuke's ear, which made the younger repress a shiver. "No...it's not... What's wrong with me...?" Itachi laid them down on the bed and wrapped his arms tightly around Sasuke. "Nothing is wrong with you," it was spoken in a knowing tone. Sasuke felt his tears begin to stop and he cuddled closer to his brother, knowing that this would probably be he last time they could ever be this close.

"Something...is wrong with me..."

_If only you knew...what I really meant by my earlier question... Maybe then you could understand... Maybe you'd see that something really is wrong with me..._

"No, nothing is. Sasuke, I'm gay too, and there is nothing wrong with me." There was a slight hesitation in Itachi's voice and it made Sasuke wonder if Itachi thought there was something wrong with himself as well, but now, just knowing that his brother was gay as well...just...it made everything worse. And as he thought of this he realized...that he didn't think he could deal with it, and his tears started once more.

How many times had he cried over his brother? Too many to count. How many times had he wished that they would lie in bed together like this? Only in every dream, which was as often as his nightmares. How many times had he cursed the world for being so cruel? Far too many times, for he cursed it every day that he was still alive. How many times had he thought about just ending it all? Three times, and every time he had thought of attempting it his brother had given him something to live for.

And all this only in the past three and a half months.

He opened his mouth to say something but realized he didn't have anything to say. Itachi just kissed his cheek. "It's okay, Sasuke. Just go to sleep for a little while." He nodded absent-mindedly before closing his eyes, and he realized that he could still feel Itachi's warm breath on the back of his neck, and it made him happy.

_...Itachi... What's wrong with me is that... I love you...too much... I'm sorry, brother..._

Soon after he thought that he drifted off into a dreamless sleep.

**XxXxXxXxX**

Slowly the days passed after he had admitted to his brother one thing he believed would make the elder shun him, but had only succeeded in bringing them closer together. Slowly those days passed him by with steadily increasing pain as he and his brother would talk for hours on end about nearly everything. And then, finally, a week later; it happened.

It was so unexpected that Sasuke's heart nearly stopped when he saw what his brother was doing, it nearly stopped it agony. Over the past week he had believed that he and Itachi were growing closer and maybe, one day, he might be able to actually tell the man how he felt, but now...it seemed that there was no chance for him whatsoever, something he should have kept telling himself from the start.

His lips trembled and his breathing was shaky as he stood yards behind his brother, who was kissing some redhead that he didn't know at all. "...I-Itachi..." he hadn't meant to whisper out the man's name; it just slipped from him in his shocked state. Itachi broke the kiss and turned around to see Sasuke and quickly gave him an apologetic smile while the onyx-eyed teen stared at the redhead in malice. The person his brother was kissing...was beautiful, much more so than himself, he believed, and he could see why Itachi was attracted to the other, but he was still hurt deeply.

"Sasuke, this is Sasori," he could only nod at his brother's words as he bit his bottom lip lightly and half a second later he was gone, fleeing to his room to escape the nightmare that he had walked into. He could feel his heart being ripped to pieces and he thought he could hear his soul crying out in anguish as he shut his door quietly and leaned against it, trying not to cry the tears he had been holding back.

Sasuke was only strong for a moment before he felt the hot tears spilling down his cheeks and he wiped them away roughly, not wanting to completely admit to himself that this hurt him so horribly. Then he heard a soft knock on his door, making him jump and gasp shakily as he continued to cry without a sound. "Sasuke? Sasuke, are you in there?" He didn't answer; he couldn't answer; he felt too betrayed by the man on the other side of the door to actually answer him. "Sasuke, I know you're in there. I'm coming in," and as the doorknob began to turn Sasuke hurriedly crawled to the other side of the room and sat in a corner, hoping his brother would not find him.

"Oh, Sasuke..." he cursed his horrible luck as Itachi walked over to him and kneeled down next to him, placing a warm hand on his leg gently, making him sob loudly as it just reinforced to him the knowledge that he could never have the raven-haired man in front of him. "Sasuke, what's wrong?" Itachi sounded genuinely concerned about him but he couldn't answer as he just stared at his lap, trying to erase the picture of Itachi and Sasori kissing from his mind. "Is this about Sasori? Sasuke, I know I should have told you about him sooner...but we've just been having such a great time together lately; I didn't know how you'd react to hearing about him," it was close to an apology, but that was not what Sasuke wanted.

"...How long...?" Itachi stared at his little brother for a few moments, waiting to see if Sasuke would elaborate on his question and he did, "how long...have you two...?" Sasuke couldn't actually finish the entire thing as he closed his eyes tight and wished the redhead dead for touching his brother. Itachi smiled softly as he rubbed Sasuke's leg, "awhile," it was the only answer he gave as he watched his brother suffer in obvious pain. "...I...I hope that you're happy then..." the words felt like acid in his mouth and made him want to rip his hair out, but he only sat there and tried to keep his thoughts away.

After a moment Itachi leaned forward and kissed Sasuke on the cheek softly, making the younger's heart ache so horribly in his chest. "Don't worry, Sasuke, you'll get used to Sasori eventually," and with that Itachi got up and left the room as he thought that it was best to leave his brother alone for a while. And the only thing that Sasuke could think of after Itachi left was that he would never get used to Sasori. And he would never get used to the redhead because he wasn't going to be around to deal with him.

**XxXxXxXxX**

He had known something about his brother's behavior had been a bit off, but he hadn't really thought all that much about it as he had just chalked it up to Sasuke finding out about his boyfriend and not reacting well, which did happen in some families on occasions, so he wasn't all that concerned. No, Itachi was not particularly concerned until he walked into his brother's room that same evening while his brother was taking a shower. And what made him become concerned was what he found lying on his brother's bedside table.

The words of the obvious suicide note detailed many things, but it was Sasuke's hidden feelings for Itachi that were the main center point for the letter. And upon finding this note, and thusly Sasuke's feelings for him, Itachi's heart stopped in the middle of a beat. He stared at the note, that seemed to have been written a bit shakily but quite neatly, and then he took a deep breath as he attempted to think.

His mind was everywhere at once, but yet nowhere at all as he wondered just...why his brother would do this, but then he looked over the note again and it was told to him just why. Sasuke could have seen him with girls, but having to live with him going out with guys, that was something that the teenager just couldn't deal with—knowing that other men could kiss him and yet he could not. Finally, his heart began to beat loudly in his ears and then he heard the water from the shower in the next room and his eyes widened.

If he walked in that room, he wondered, would he find his brother dead on the bathroom floor? Or was Sasuke waiting until another day to commit suicide? Perhaps a day when he wasn't around to accidentally walk in on him. His thoughts began to rush before he just dropped the note and hurried out of the room and to the bathroom, and yet he didn't enter the room as he just listened and hoped, to everything that would listen to him, that his brother hadn't done something irreversible.

Finally, after many moments he pushed his emotions away and opened the door slowly as a damp heat wrapped around him while steam escaped out into the hallway for just a moment until he shut the door. His onyx eyes were on the floor, looking around frantically, but not finding blood or his brother, for that he was grateful. And then he looked up and saw the shower door open and he walked up to it cautiously, hoping to just find Sasuke taking a shower.

But he didn't find the teen showering. No, he first saw the blood mixing with the hot water rushing into the drain, and then his eyes quickly darted up to find his brother sitting up against the shower wall bringing a razor down the inside of his arm. "Sasuke..." the teen looked up in horror to find him there and just seconds later Itachi was at the younger's side, taking the razor blade from him and then looking at his arms. "Oh, my god..." he shook his head while tears stung his eyes. His brother had cut vertically through his veins and the blood was everywhere. "Sasuke...why?" it was a stupid question but he was too distraught to think about that.

"I can't do this anymore, Itachi..." the teen claimed quietly while the blood quickly seeped from his wounds. "I can't see you with him, or anyone... I'm sick," Itachi's eyes widened at his brother's words as he quickly got his wits about him and grabbed a towel that was hanging over the shower door. He wrapped Sasuke's arms in the towel, put pressure on the wounds and lifted his brother's hands over his head, and all without breaking eye contact. "...It's too late, Itachi..." he was so defeated.

"Sasuke, I am _not_ going to let you die," Itachi spoke the words so seriously while a tear slipped from his eye. For a moment Sasuke's eyes looked around at their surroundings. "...I never thought that this would be the place or the time that I said it... But... I love you, Itachi." In that single moment Itachi's heart stopped cold in his chest. "Sasuke... Don't do this; don't talk like this..."

Sasuke could no longer feel his pain and so he was no longer afraid of what might happen. "I love you, Itachi," he repeated softly, "all I ask is that...just this one time, you kiss me for real." Itachi, unfortunately, could understand that his brother was dying, and so he let Sasuke's wrapped up arms slip from his hands slowly. "Sasuke, you can't... You can_not_ die," Itachi was nearly pleading.

He looked at his elder brother with no emotion and nearly no life in him. "Kiss me, Itachi," this time it was a order that Itachi followed without question. And the moment that their lips were together Itachi realized, with such horrible timing, that it was nearly like they had been made for each other. "I love you, Itachi," Sasuke whispered out against his brother's lips after he had returned the kiss.

After a moment Itachi finally pulled away from his brother to see how lifeless the other looked. "Sasuke... Sasuke?"

His entire body shook down to the core as he realized that his brother was gone. He didn't know what to do as he sat in the warm shower with his young brother's corpse next to him; he didn't even want to accept that Sasuke was dead. "Sasuke... Sasuke...?" he tried calling out to the other as he shook the deceased softly while tears spilled from his eyes and onto the others body. "...You can't do this to me, Sasuke..." he was completely losing his mind.

"You can't do this! Come back!"

When nothing happened Itachi's eyes closed and he placed his head on his brother's chest, hearing no heart beating underneath the clothing and pale flesh. "Sasuke..." his lip trembled slightly, "I...I love you, too..."

**Owari**

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A/N: Man, everytime I read that ending it does bring a tear to my eye. Poor Ita-kun... Damn you Sasuke!! Hah, what am I saying... I wrote it... Anyway, like I said, me likey. I hope that you likey too! Anywho, please review and tell me what you think! Thank you.

SandXDemonX13

TTYFTDS


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